The Walking Dead

I haven’t been doing much screenwriting lately. I’ve been retooling, ebbing away on childhood memoirs. They’re full of ghosts but not the kind you’re thinking of. Here’s a sample…

I didn’t go to his funeral. Like I said, I was kind of a shit head and I really hated dead bodies. I was also terrified of zombies. That didn’t help. No one pushed me to go either, so I just pretended like nothing had happened. He’d been in the hospital so damn long, I hardly noticed he was gone.

Did I mention zombies scared the piss out of me? Jesus Christ they did. Maybe it was the thought of him coming back, all pissed off, ready to bite my head off for not going to his funeral or for thinking about McDonald’s during my last visit to the hospital. I was so hungry that night.

We moved right after he died. We moved to an old white house on a hill with a long gravel driveway and a cemetery in the backyard. My mom was either insensitive or stupid or maybe just a little of both. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom but there were days I’d just as soon I had a different one.

Anyway, I could see the cemetery from my bedroom window, specially on a moonlit night. The roof outside my window was low enough that zombies could easily climb up and eat my brains. Jesus, I hated that fucking room. In the two years we lived in that house I think I only slept in my room twice, maybe three times, tops. I kid you not. Fucking hated it.

Shit. Death was all around, come to think of it. Shortly after we moved in, I saw this dead woman’s body. She got hit by a car on High Ridge Road, right behind our house. I remember how the police covered her with a sheet. There was a small pool of blood puddling around her head but the thing that really struck me were her shoes. Her shoes, the way they were just laying there, about five or six feet away from her twisted up body. That car must have been going pretty fucking fast to knock off her shoes like that.

Later that night, back in my room, I felt scared. I couldn’t get her out of my head. Her shoes. I couldn’t help but think about them. It made me want to cry. I think it was the first time I’d seen a real dead body. Like I said, I never got to see my dad’s, so that must have been the first time. I remember wondering if my mom was happy in her shoes.

One Dark Night

Mausoleum…

Every night I wake up around 3a. I feel my way to the bathroom like a blind man. On this particular night the moonlight was strong and it poured through the window in beams of white light. I stood before the vanity mirror but there was no one there; only some shadows dancing against the wall behind me. I turned and much to my surprise I was no longer in my house. I raced to the window, pushed my face up against its cold iron bars, and gazed out at the row of crooked headstones just outside my room. Feeling sad and tired, I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

Chain Letter

As a producer, I spend lots of time on email. Not just a few, here and there. Here’s a rundown, project-by-project…

THE MIDNIGHT GAME: 266 conversations (project just kicked off)
HOUSE OF DUST: 3,015 conversations (in post-production)
THE MELANCHOLY FANTASTIC: 1,915 conversations (delivered)
SNOW WHITE: 633 conversations (project on hold)
IRREFUTABLE: 1,915 conversations (project was canned)
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TRACKS: 6,249 conversations (spun my wheels a bit too much on the first)

Note: a conversation often represents numerous emails. Sometimes the threads go on and on. Thought you’d find this informative. I certainly do. Makes me want to go back to software, kinda.

Scream

I’ve been silent…but for good reason.

The Road

Most independent filmmakers, artists alike, walk a long lonely road full of hazards, pitfalls, and cannibals. I’ve managed to walk it for six years—hardly a long time compared to some of my peers. During this time, I’ve made two feature films and will soon begin a third. Yes, I’m proud of that, but that’s my problem, and why I’m writing this. One view is that success is the best revenge…but revenge against whom? There’s no conspiracy here, my friend. You may start to feel like there is, but that insecurity is born of ego and wrong view.

Looking back, much of my difficulty has stemmed from pride, the need for validation and recognition. It hasn’t always been about the work. When you’re open to listening, to learning from mistakes, the loneliness becomes a divine loneliness. Perfect little packages of wisdom wrapped in envelopes of hardship. You just have to be willing to look inside, that’s all.

For those about to embark upon a maiden flight I leave you with these words, “check your pride at the door”—pride’s a heavy burden, and will, more often than not, bring you down, back to the road. Even in writing this I have to wonder. Perhaps silence would’ve been better. I can hear them now. Cannibals. They sound like hyenas. Time to fly.

The Haunting of Amelia

As I mentioned in my last post, I always name entries after a horror or genre film, but there’s few movies, if any, I can think of that have been released under two different names. That’s what happened with my first film, The Other Side of the Tracks. Although it was released by Showtime under its original title, the domestic DVD was released by MTI Home Video as The Haunting of Amelia. This blog entry is in response to some of the criticism The Haunting of Amelia has received in the last few months.

Apart from the title, opening credits, and box art, this film is identical to the original. When I was first informed of the name change, I won’t kid you, even I was a bit puzzled, particularly with the new Ring-like artwork—a film which my film was nothing at all like—but I was in no position, or should I say, condition, to argue. I’d waited two long years for my film to be released and this was the best release it was going to get. So the last thing I wanted to do was piss off the distributor. I didn’t have any fight left in me to even bother, if that makes any sense. I think any indie filmmaker who has been through the long arduous process of making a movie and getting it out there will understand where I’m coming from. In my case, it accounted for four years of my life.

Although I felt the new alias and artwork would be deceptive to horror and genre fans—that it would be ill received—perhaps MTI knew something I didn’t. After all, they know how to sell DVDs, and I’ve been told bad reviews are better than no reviews. (I don’t know if that’s true or not, maybe that’s just something they tell you to make you feel better.)

Unlike my original title, the new title did not convey my film’s romantic fantasy drama feel. I’ll admit, contrary to my original screenplay, the film turned out to be more “supernatural drama” than “supernatural horror.” The script was much more haunting than the movie, mainly because of the moments that were pulled because of time and budget—the more FX-laden “haunting” moments, moments that might’ve made a “Haunting of…” title more befitting.

Without going into every detail of things I would’ve done different had I known what I know now, the film also suffered from the lack of a traditional score. Instead, many scenes are filled with a Cameron Crowe-style soundtrack, which ultimately gave the film more of a WB Network movie-of-the-week feel. That, coupled with its “Euro-pacing” (admittedly a slow burn), are some of my directorial mistakes. As a first time, writer/director, producer, and editor, I wore a few too many hats and was destined to draw up short somewhere, which is everywhere for a small indie film. Yet, in the end, there’s no denying the film worked on certain levels, albeit much more so under its original name, after all what about Showtime? Showtime!! I suspect, given our cast, the film manages to draw upon a largely young female demographic, Roswellians, the Supernatural fandom, if you will. Following Showtime, “Tracks” received an international pay TV release, a studio release that will span over 25 countries and has already begun airing in Germany (as “Jenseits der Gleise”) on their premium SKY Cinema channel. I’ll take it.

I’d be lying if I told you all the negative “Amelia” reviews didn’t hurt though. It felt like a morning didn’t go by, during this long winter, where I wouldn’t wake up to some blistering blog review. Not exactly the reception I dreamt of. Despite a recent lull in reviews, this morning I was greeted by yet another, this time calling my film “total shit.” So here’s my response to that, and I’m trying to stay objective here…

Is my first film really “total shit?” I don’t think so. We won a few regional film festival awards; nothing major, but nevertheless, we won them. You can’t take that away. And in addition to the fact that the film is airing, and will be airing, on top pay TV channels across the globe, it’s also on Netflix. What do their customers think of The Haunting of Amelia? The film has managed to rack up almost 2,000 ratings so far—a statistically significant enough sample size to eliminate family, friends, and frenemies alike (I didn’t think I had any of those until I made this movie.) Amelia is holding steady with an average rating of 2.5 stars. That’s not great, but it’s decent. Think what you will; it’s certainly not “shit.” Maybe it’s a “love it” or “hate it” kind of film, but if so, the tie always goes to the filmmaker. Finally, something objective to hang my hat on: I’m now able to compare my film against yours, perhaps, my peers, along with countless other films that beat out my debut at certain film festivals (including, yes, Sundance.) Take a look some time; you’ll be surprised at the average Netflix ratings of major studio releases and so-called, “indie gems.” Hell, 2.5 stars, in the genre world, is starting to look pretty darn decent for a first film. I’ll take it.

The Other Side of the Tracks

In case you haven’t realized, I name all my entries after a horror or genre film. So it is with both pride and humility (because it took so long and was so difficult) that I entitle this entry after my first feature, which is set to premiere on Showtime this week, Dec 2nd. The irony here is that the release is timed perfectly with the public announcement of the Sundance ’11 line-up. I had hoped, dreamed, and believed that my sophomore film, The Melancholy Fantastic, would find its way in, but I drew up short once again.

Trevor Groth, Director of Programming, wrote me a kind and generous note last night, he complimented the film, but despite personally enjoying it, he was unable to find a spot in this year’s line-up. So needless to say, I’m bummed.

Back in 2007, Sundance also passed on The Other Side of the Tracks. Yet, despite the film getting overlooked by just about every major film festival, here it is being released on Showtime, followed by a domestic DVD release (on Dec 28th as The Haunting of Amelia), and then a major international release.

Rejection and acceptance are two sides of the same coin. Having crossed over to the other side of the tracks, I have come full circle and guess what? It looks pretty much the same from here. Perhaps further down the tracks the view will change? I know my day is coming.

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil

Bitterness, Jealousy, and Arrogance.

I originally was going to write a post that related to my experiences as a relative newcomer in the entertainment industry but I realized some of these concepts apply to a wider audience, anyone trying to succeed in a difficult endeavor.

So let’s begin by first defining the polar opposites of bitterness, jealousy, and arrogance (three negative mental states I’ve encountered on my journey), the positives would be: kindness, charity, and humility.

Let’s also redefine the negative states in more moderate terms: rivalry, envy, and confidence. No one would argue that these more temperate forms can’t help you achieve a higher level of success, but when taken to the extreme self-indulgent end they will certainly hinder your efforts. I have found myself, many times, crossing the line, but that’s not the kind of person I strive to be and I know that’s true of most people.

Identifying the axis, within ourselves, is the first step to becoming a better achiever, one who inspires. Upon recognizing these pitfalls you can begin to overcome them by embracing their polar opposites, and while not immediately transforming bitterness into kindness you may just end up transforming it into healthy sportsmanship.

You can be confident yet humble, envious yet charitable, and kind despite being human. Avoid the axis of evil.

And, no, I have not seen Puppet Master: Axis of Evil.

The Invisible

Sorry I haven’t posted lately… I’m still here.

2001: A Space Odyssey

I can imagine how Kubrick must of felt when he gave voice to HAL 9000. Monday we brought Shirley Knight into the studio, to record the voice of Mor in The Melancholy Fantastic. Today I edited all her dialog into the final cut of the film. This has been a journey, nothing short of an odyssey…

“You see, something’s going to happen.”

“What? What’s going to happen?”

“Something wonderful.”